...and if I ever married I'd buy a ring at a pawn shop...that went over like a lead balloon.
Well first the ring. She said first, which was hilarious, "that rings don't lose their value." I told her it loses 80% once it leaves the store because there is no secondary market for wedding rings. She told me that was wrong. Then I told her that I'd buy used at a pawn shop. She said "I don't want someone's broken promise." I then said "SEE!"
She then, saw the error of her ways, which was nice.... but still insisted that she would require a new one.
So which one is it? Is it a broken promise or is it possible to spin that as a 'chance to make that promise come true'?
Also, she thought $3,000 was absurdly low. I thought it was high. While she agreed that you shouldn't go into debt to marry, I'd rather spend10k on starting a business or my house or buying a rental property or something else other than a wedding.
Basically, if I'm going to spend that kind of money, I'd like a return on my investment. Sure there are wedding gifts, but they are there regardless of how much you spend. It was kind of funny to hear how she already has her venue picked out.
I mean, all you have to buy is booze, get a DJ, rent a few tables and serve some good food. Oh and talk to a lawyer about a prenup. Easy enough right? I was relieved that she agreed that no one should go into debt to finance a wedding.
I am just amazed that she didn't realize how much more house you could buy with 10 or 15k or that you could use that to help start a business or to even take a month off work and spend it on vacation.
Don't worry; I'm not thinking about marriage. We don't even live together and I wouldn't marry someone without at least a 2 year trial run of cohabitation. It just came up somehow last night.
So I guess my question is: How much should a wedding cost? What are your thoughts on used rings? Why on earth do certain people place so much value on a single day and think nothing of fucking up the start of their life together? I mean, if you instead put 10k in your IRAs/Money Market accounts and eloped, you would have a significant sum of money compared to taking the time to save up another 10k and then invest that. I'd rather retire early than spend cash on a wedding.
Am I way off base?
Indigoshift Wrote:
My wife and I were poor college students when we got married. We spent maybe $200 on our wedding.
We bought a matching pair of silver rings for a total of about $25. Reserved a spot with an arbor at the city park for the ceremony. Paid about $50 for the pastor and the license. Our friends and family brought tasty things to barbeque on the grills at the park, and our reception was under one of those covered areas with picnic tables, where everyone got to eat tasty homemade food. The children that came to the wedding were able to change out of their wedding clothes after the ceremony so they could run around and play on the swing sets and jungle gyms.
My wife's dress was sewn by her mother, who's an excellent seamstress. She also made the cake, which was delicious.
After our vows, we kissed and everyone who was at the park that day (families, frisbee players, kite-flyers, kids on swing sets--all of them total strangers) applauded and cheered for us.
I bought her a more formal ring a year later, but I still have my old $12 silver ring. She wants to get me something more expensive, but I like it. Every time I look at it, I smile.
We're celebrating our 12th anniversary next month, and we're happier now than we were the day we got married.
If anyone ends up engaged to someone who regards the dollar amount of the wedding as its most important aspect, call the engagement off and look elsewhere for a partner. It's as simple as that.
Runamok wrote:
If anyone ends up engaged to someone who regards the dollar amount of the wedding as its most important aspect, call the engagement off and look elsewhere for a partner. It's as simple as that.
I dated a girl that told me the minimum a wedding should cost was 20k. This from someone who was unemployed at the time and I made perhaps 40k annually gross. Though she really was a good, decent girl, she was very bad with money and I knew would want to stop working asap and depend solely on my income which would never be enough for her material needs. It was a great decision to end that relationship.
Now the girl I have been dating for the past 3.5 years laughed at the idea that a wedding ring should cost two months gross (or even net salary) and doesn't really want to get married in the first place. Perversely because she is so non-materialistic I love to surprise her with little thoughtful things. With the other one, expectations were so high I continuously felt like a failure.
The moral of the story...watch out ladies...there are women out there who are in it just for love and not status.
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